Who would abandon a baby on the side of the road?
Alcoholics Anonymous (aka, Al-Anon or AA) recognizes that having a mentor is integral to success in their program. Al-Anon mentors are called sponsors—who are typically people that have successfully abstained from alcohol for an extended amount of time. They come alongside new members to advise and help them navigate through the challenges of being sober and the struggles encountered during recovery. What does this look like in practice? Sponsors will make themselves available or get someone who can be when desires for alcohol come up. They should also be an inspiration so that others would want to be more like them. Finally, they should be a pillar of strength for others to turn toward during their times of weakness. Hands-down, anyone who does Al-Anon with a sponsor greatly increases their ability to succeed.
Addiction is nothing to be scoffed at. Deep down, we’re all a bunch of addicts—a bunch of sin addicts. Now I need to point out that I’m not judging. Far from it, actually. Judge not lest ye be judged, right? (Matthew 7:1) It doesn’t say, “Don’t call out others lest you be called out.” Call me out. I have dirty laundry just like everyone reading this. For me, it starts by being honest and not trying to hide my problems from others so that I can admit I actually need help getting my laundry all cleaned up and folded and put away—and to do that, I need to be real. Hiding stuff under the bed doesn’t make the smell go away. We all eventually feel ashamed of some of the crappy things we do in life. That’s fine. What is not fine is hiding behind that shame like the security blanket Linus carries around in Peanuts. Trying to hide from others what everyone else sees plain as day is a great way to attract more attention than the problem itself. I’m sure Charlie Brown knows what I’m talking about.
Not all addiction is a sin, but all sin is an addiction
Living life without Christ in it is the same as living a life fulfilling selfish desires. Even helping others is strategic, because somehow that help might come back around as recognition—like the warm feeling of a pat on the back—or even as something more direct like quid pro quo—”I scratched your back, so you better scratch mine.” Behavior driven by seeking out self-fulfillment will always snowball into sinful behavior.
When Christ gets injected into the life of a sinner, it’s like watching oil run from water. The oil is not gone, just separated. Anyone who has made a vinaigrette dressing knows the emulsion between oil and water is tenuous at best and there’s many ways for it to break. Letting it sit around in the fridge will cause it to break. Too much heat will cause it to break. Too much water or vinegar or oil will do the same. Let’s say Jesus can signify any one of these methods….so watching someone get a Jesus injection is like watching the emulsification between a sinner and the world get broken. Christ breaks the bond between sinner and sin—making it possible to live our life serving him and serving others by rejecting the selfish desires that cause us to sin. Ezekiel 36:25 and Psalm 51:2 talk about cleaning us from sin. This fits the bill. For more about this, see Born of Water
So now that you’ve been separated from that oily slippery sin, what do you do now that you’re all clean? You are now living a life parallel to the muck you were once a part of. The oily sin that was once attached to you has been cleansed from you, but you can still look around and see the oil all around, both as little floaties as well as big blobs all around you. It’s a constant struggle to stay separated from sin because it is always trying to cling on, not wanting to let go.
What do addictions have to do with babies on the side of the road?
Wouldn’t it be great if a newborn Christian could get tips and tricks from a mentor? Imagine being recently addicted to a life of sin and struggling day by day to not pull back a deep swig of sin. Imagine a person who is in recovery and needs a sponsor. A person who can make themself available or get someone else who can be there for you when temptations come up. Someone who has successfully abstained from the sins of this world for an extended amount of time—meaning, a mature Christian. This mentor would need to come alongside this newborn Christian with advice and help them navigate through the challenges of repenting from sin. Now that the things of this world have been rejected by this newborn Christian, the struggles encountered during recovery will be immense. A mentor would be an inspiration to them, so that they’d have behavior to model themselves after—something they could aspire to. Finally, a Christian mentor should be a pillar of strength for the newborn Christian. Someone they can turn toward during their times of weakness. Hands-down, anyone who truly becomes a newborn Christian with a mentor greatly increases their ability to succeed.
Let me get this straight…. Successful recovery from alcohol is important enough to need a mentor who will guide a person through the challenges of maintaining sobriety. Someone who will be there through the entire process from start to finish. Someone who dedicates themselves to helping another person stay sober. Someone who comes alongside that person and makes themselves available even at odd hours of the night. Okay. I got that.
So why does the Church make getting a mentor optional? How is someone supposed to have successful recovery from a lifetime of sin without repentance? Wouldn’t a person who doesn’t know Christ feel like they were being dragged into the abyss? Maybe at that moment they heard Jesus calling and answered the call. Now they are called born again—once from the womb and then again through the Spirit—a newborn Christian. I always confused this with a Christian who was born into their faith twice, because the first time didn’t stick—but becoming Christian happens only once, and it is actually a spiritual birth which comes out of a death of worldly desires through proclaiming allegiance to Jesus and accepting him as your master. That’s a mouthful. It’s like a spiritual version of what happens to the mythical Phoenix that rises from the ashes.
Wouldn’t it be cool if someone could show us how to be addicted to Christ?
Anyways, back to the optional mentor thing….my early years as a baby played a vital role in my successes and failures as a person—laying the foundation for me to come into healthy adolescence and eventually adult maturity. If I stumbled upon a baby crawling by themselves, I would never say, “Do you think you need guidance? It looks like you got this. Let me know what you feel comfortable with.”
Do you see my point? Some babies look tough, I guess, but no baby can handle this world we live in without a wingman. People get baptized everyday. There are “Welcome to Christianity” classes and “Next Steps” classes and Bible studies and small groups for men or women or old or young or single or married people. What about the “Leave me alone, I got this,” crowd or the reclusive anti-socialite person who has an absolute distrust for anything in this world because they’ve been so broken and battered by it? Do they have a small group? Nope. No way to get them to show up. So we say to them, “Do you think you need guidance? It looks like you got this. Let me know what you feel comfortable with.”
What’s the solution? Mentor all new believers. Take a page out of AA, except make it seem like a requirement—not an option. Bring up mentorship constantly. Don’t let the topic drop. Train mentors, and develop a mentorship program within the church. That’s what’s missing. Could the Church assign people to one another to mentor? Sure they could. Just stop worrying if the new believer does not want to be mentored. That’s like my kid telling me she doesn’t like to be given instruction. She’s got this. She doesn’t need any help. But you know what? Sometimes the Church might have to go against what feels good to the new believer and do what is actually good for them. Disciple the newborns so they can grow. As they mature, they will mentor and disciple others too. Don’t be too concerned about whether the reclusive newborn Christian wants to remain a recluse. He’s joining a new community, a new family. And he needs to know that his family wants to embrace him and we’re going to make him feel uncomfortable at times. We might embarrass him, but we’ll always stand by him—and together we will do God’s work.
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Very perceptive. I’d like to see and experience such mentorship programs within the overall Church.