Everyone has a story….

And everyone struggles with wanting to tell their story to others.

There’s a couple of problems with that. Number one is finding someone who wants to hear your story. Number two is once you think you’ve found a receptive ear, internally a person may struggle with not knowing which story to tell, or how to tell it. Those are real problems. Those are real obstacles when it comes to letting someone see who you are and what makes you tick. These are real determinants for whether or not that person you are sharing your story with would want to get to know you even more.

Once you know a person’s story, you then need to know how to respond. A glance or a nod? A word of encouragement or a shoulder squeeze? A hug or a reciprocal story in some weak attempt to show you suffer as they do? Silence? I don’t know. I don’t know….except to say that every response should be different, just as every story heard is different from the last. It’s uniqueness requires a unique response.

Every story heard is different from the last

I know we’re supposed to do life together, but sometimes life just sucks.

And when you get to know people, they start to tell you just how sucky it is for them. So now you have your own struggles you’re wrestling with on your heart, and you just got another helping of someone else’s struggles on top of that. Now there’s too much on your plate. And we asked for this? We wanted the additional stress? We wanted to bear their burden? To do life together? Yes. Because we should love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Because we would want them to do the same for us. So yes, we asked for this.

I will continue to love anyone who doesn’t want to do life together with me or help me to bear my own burdens. It’s not about doing something for someone else hoping to get something in return. It’s about helping out our brothers, because that’s what sets us apart from the rest of the world. As we glance around from side to side looking for an example to follow on how exactly we’re supposed to live life together, it might dawn on some of us that we need to be the example for others to follow….because they’re glancing over their shoulders and looking side to side to see how it’s done. Show them how it’s done.

There is so much I don’t know. When it comes to me and God, God can view me as one big, giant fill-in-the-blank. I suppose that could be a good thing. The thing with fellowship-ing, or “doing life together” as I’ve heard it be called, is that it takes effort and it takes coordination. Often times my plans need to match up with someone else’s plans in order for us to simply meet and have a cup of coffee. Now, if I wanted to do life together with more than one person, then it becomes really messy. It starts to become clear to me why I found it so comfortable to not have many friends. Not just comfortable, but enjoyable. It was peaceful and less chaotic and ultimately, more lazy.

I found it so comfortable to not have many friends

I am now putting forth effort to engage more with the Christian people I currently interact with only once per week.

This is like trying to schedule time outside of the scheduled time. These relationships can be viewed as their ministry to me (discipleship and fellowship). Then there’s the non-Christian people I know that pull on me to maintain my friendship or acquaintance with them. These relationships can be viewed as my ministry to others (The Great Commission). It becomes such a mess, you’d need to call Franklin Covey over to help you organize.

Now to bring it all home. Happy spouse, happy house. But what if your spouse is not happy? What if your spouse is hurting? What if your spouse is at risk of dying? I think we need to move away from happiness. That’s not going to be my go-to emotion for living this life as a Jesus follower. As we minister to others, include in our ministry those who we love the most, so we can have a faithful spouse, faithful house. We may be poor in our earthly treasures, but that shouldn’t stop us from storing up our treasures in heaven.

What I pray for people who are experiencing tragedies is often the same thing no matter what the tragedy is. I pray that when people feel the strongest urge to run away from God and blame God, that instead they offer up their anguish and their suffering to God. Ask God to take it away and help us heal. I pray that these people, who are genuinely hurting, run towards God and pray to God even more and multiply their faith even more in knowing the goodness of God is genuine too. And because that’s true, the plan God has is good, too. Even if we don’t know what the plan is, we must increase our trust alongside our faith.

Someone once told me that he once got a prayer from someone he knew *not* asking God to grant him the blessing of a child (which was what he was praying for), but rather asking God to allow his heart to remain faithful if things don’t work out. We should not pray to God because he blesses us, or curse him because we feel God has turned his back on us. We should pray to God because we love him, because he first loved us. Our prayers should not be a response to tragedies or blessings. Our prayers should be an outpouring of love from all of our heart and all of our mind and all of our strength and all of our soul. And if we lack in any of this, pray for extra helpings of each.

Our prayers should be an outpouring of love from all of our heart and all of our mind and all of our strength and all of our soul

Most of the time we will never know why something happened.

We just need to be okay with this. Perhaps we were told why. Would we be able to grasp the depth and complexities any answer might bring? Are we to be loving children of God so long as he gives us the answers we demand of him? He does not answer to us, we answer to him.

There is no answer that can be given to anyone that would satisfy and explain to them why they lost their house, or why they lost their child, or why they lost their health, or why they lost their spouse. And not being able to satisfy and explain these questions is when faith is at risk of being lost as well. To this I say pray. And when you’re done, pray harder. And don’t stop until you can tell God that you love him no matter what, and you have faith in his good plan, because he is a good God.

Everything is going according to plan. It’s just not our plan. It’s his.

Love,

Vin